What I learned from the Workshop/Discussion on Female Empowerment and Preventing Domestic Violence, and Trafficking.
Today, I had the pleasure to attend my ward councillor, Iqra Khalid's Discussion/Forum on Preventing Domestic Violence, as well as preventing human trafficking, especially for women. The forum had plenty of women from different ages, and I had such a humbling experience meeting such passionate, inspiring and uplifting women that made me feel stronger.
They touched on the most heart breaking topics, leaving some women in tears of compassion, and all of us felt like we were really able to connect during these few moments. In between the speakers and panelists, was a simple white sleek coffee table, the speakers were very close with attendees, sitting on sofas positioned around the circle of attendees. The experience was so humbling, like sitting in a friend circle, conversation was easy to talk through, and allowed everyone to give their opinions on topics.
We touched on a variety of subjects, such as female empowerment, confidence, Talking more, being shy, to women in politics, such as Iqra. I really appreciate the atmosphere of the discussion, providing the substantial improvements to politics by bringing up these topics to light. We focus on finding how we can help those who were the most marginalized, to those who were the least marginalized, and how the structures of policing can be improved to open the door for discussion for women who do feel in vulnerable positions.
Each section will be separated into different parts of the discussion so it is easier to understand!
Part 1: prevalence and own encounters
One of the panelists discussed how she was a teen mom at 17, and being in a marriage for over 16 years, having its ups and downs, as well as having to balance raising 2 kids. She talked about managing the ups and down, in the way a healthy relationship is reciprocative and not someone telling you what to do. She talked about how it s about being less reactive and open to discussion, and how abuse starts when the there person is not feeling validated and is never given apology. It is an intended attack on someone, whether it's physical or mental, and there is a repetitive cycle.
The next panelist, talked about her experiences in Chile, and how from her experience, it is a cyclic thing, where abuse is often more prevalent if it has happened to mothers or bigger figures because it is more likely to get mirrored. She talks about how women who are inferior, or who marry young can be more susceptible. Her mother told her to marry a rich man, but she said she already was a rich man. This quote represents how she doesn't need anybody else, because she felt as though she had the power to make it happen.
The next one talked about how emotions are a big factor, as abusers or trafficker's will often make your question your emotions. If you are sad, you will be told not be feel sad, or if you're happy, you will be made to feel sad. In my opinion, I think that in other ways, ultimately those people will not care about your emotions, they may be manipulative to make it seem as if they do, but that is another way in which women can be trapped in the cycle of feeling validated.
This brings me to the next point, which was confidence. The other panelist talked about how teachers would write how she ended more confidence, and that could be a way in which you can tell someone may be in a bad situation. She as shy, and very sensitive.
Confidence makes such a big difference, because they talk about how those who are unconfident tend to go into relationships looking for validation, often from a man. I really agreed with this, because it forces us to ask, if woman were made to feel confident within themselves, and had the resources to cope without looking for alcohol, drugs or men they would be less likely to go into trafficking, or
One fact that really surprised me was that the Peel Region has the highest levels of human trafficking in Canada. Especially, the Pearson Air Port can be an issue. I think that this makes human trafficking a bigger part of our discussion, because we need our girls and future generations to be aware of the signs of trafficking ,and to look out for one another.
The trafficking cycle is too often cyclic.
We talked about how hate is another issue, a barrier to sustenance in helping our girls. Whether its girl on girl hate, or the patriarchy, it makes it hard for women to ever find a source of help. Women shelters are hard to get by, and housing prices are making ti harder for women to escape their circumstances. Women with children, especially single minority immigrant women, are very susceptible because not only are their jobs often part time, they often don't have a credit history, and thus cannot apply for loans.
A real estate agent brought up a really important point, Single mothers wth children are often discriminated by landlords, and there are currently no bylaws to help with this.
Another brought up religion, and how in some cultures, it is not just teaching women and girls to say no, but how saying no can be too late. When women say no to some men, the men do not accept it. This conversation is not just for women, but a dialogue for men, who cannot take "no" for an answer. The director for a centre for abuse talked about how the majority of incidences can come from educated people, and most people who commit beatings and continue to abuse, they have never been too to accept no. The patriarchy is a big reason why some people feel more entitled, and the power imbalance is why we need feminism.
They talk about the stereotypes associated with those who help women to be more independent, because thy are labeled as "homewreckers" where women will lead there husbands. (This is even true in the media, where J-lo's song, "Aint our momma" received a lot of backlash from primarily
She talked about how the stigma is applicable to feminism, as feminists are given a bad rep through the media. The issue is that we need every to be a feminist to really make a difference.
In a broader lens, we need to form a cohort of women are working with the community and who know the community best to help with funding. Allocating a lump sum to one or two main organization is not enough. We need a grassroots movement of many people to help make this a reality.
Priests will talk about "forgiveness" and often this prevents women from leaving he situations they are in.
One speaker, who was a police officer, talked about women approaching police officers or departments, and the gap between compassion and empathy. Most police officers are strangers to the women, and might be more men. Thus, it makes it that more difficult for women in bad situations to get the help they need.
Another issue, was citizens talking about the way they were raised. She asked Iqra, "how do we end the cycle of patriarchy, when women are constantly told to cook and clean?" This really stuck with me, because these women really cared. They responded with the importance of education, and helping women to get into more male dominated fields, such as engineering and sciences. Business, investing, and helping those women in poverty so they can accomplish the same.
A beautiful discussion went on about the power of women, and how in ancient times women were feared by men, because they were able to live even though they bled each month. This powerful quote speaks volumes about how fear can force people to act upon others in negative ways, and to never doubt yourself.
Many times, abuse happens out of fear, and when people are in fear, they will try to suppress other people who are in positions to help others as a result of it.
But, if we are able to work together, we can definitely help to solve these issues, and work on viable ways to help combat these issues!
They touched on the most heart breaking topics, leaving some women in tears of compassion, and all of us felt like we were really able to connect during these few moments. In between the speakers and panelists, was a simple white sleek coffee table, the speakers were very close with attendees, sitting on sofas positioned around the circle of attendees. The experience was so humbling, like sitting in a friend circle, conversation was easy to talk through, and allowed everyone to give their opinions on topics.
We touched on a variety of subjects, such as female empowerment, confidence, Talking more, being shy, to women in politics, such as Iqra. I really appreciate the atmosphere of the discussion, providing the substantial improvements to politics by bringing up these topics to light. We focus on finding how we can help those who were the most marginalized, to those who were the least marginalized, and how the structures of policing can be improved to open the door for discussion for women who do feel in vulnerable positions.
Each section will be separated into different parts of the discussion so it is easier to understand!
Part 1: prevalence and own encounters
One of the panelists discussed how she was a teen mom at 17, and being in a marriage for over 16 years, having its ups and downs, as well as having to balance raising 2 kids. She talked about managing the ups and down, in the way a healthy relationship is reciprocative and not someone telling you what to do. She talked about how it s about being less reactive and open to discussion, and how abuse starts when the there person is not feeling validated and is never given apology. It is an intended attack on someone, whether it's physical or mental, and there is a repetitive cycle.
The next panelist, talked about her experiences in Chile, and how from her experience, it is a cyclic thing, where abuse is often more prevalent if it has happened to mothers or bigger figures because it is more likely to get mirrored. She talks about how women who are inferior, or who marry young can be more susceptible. Her mother told her to marry a rich man, but she said she already was a rich man. This quote represents how she doesn't need anybody else, because she felt as though she had the power to make it happen.
The next one talked about how emotions are a big factor, as abusers or trafficker's will often make your question your emotions. If you are sad, you will be told not be feel sad, or if you're happy, you will be made to feel sad. In my opinion, I think that in other ways, ultimately those people will not care about your emotions, they may be manipulative to make it seem as if they do, but that is another way in which women can be trapped in the cycle of feeling validated.
This brings me to the next point, which was confidence. The other panelist talked about how teachers would write how she ended more confidence, and that could be a way in which you can tell someone may be in a bad situation. She as shy, and very sensitive.
Confidence makes such a big difference, because they talk about how those who are unconfident tend to go into relationships looking for validation, often from a man. I really agreed with this, because it forces us to ask, if woman were made to feel confident within themselves, and had the resources to cope without looking for alcohol, drugs or men they would be less likely to go into trafficking, or
One fact that really surprised me was that the Peel Region has the highest levels of human trafficking in Canada. Especially, the Pearson Air Port can be an issue. I think that this makes human trafficking a bigger part of our discussion, because we need our girls and future generations to be aware of the signs of trafficking ,and to look out for one another.
The trafficking cycle is too often cyclic.
We talked about how hate is another issue, a barrier to sustenance in helping our girls. Whether its girl on girl hate, or the patriarchy, it makes it hard for women to ever find a source of help. Women shelters are hard to get by, and housing prices are making ti harder for women to escape their circumstances. Women with children, especially single minority immigrant women, are very susceptible because not only are their jobs often part time, they often don't have a credit history, and thus cannot apply for loans.
A real estate agent brought up a really important point, Single mothers wth children are often discriminated by landlords, and there are currently no bylaws to help with this.
Another brought up religion, and how in some cultures, it is not just teaching women and girls to say no, but how saying no can be too late. When women say no to some men, the men do not accept it. This conversation is not just for women, but a dialogue for men, who cannot take "no" for an answer. The director for a centre for abuse talked about how the majority of incidences can come from educated people, and most people who commit beatings and continue to abuse, they have never been too to accept no. The patriarchy is a big reason why some people feel more entitled, and the power imbalance is why we need feminism.
They talk about the stereotypes associated with those who help women to be more independent, because thy are labeled as "homewreckers" where women will lead there husbands. (This is even true in the media, where J-lo's song, "Aint our momma" received a lot of backlash from primarily
She talked about how the stigma is applicable to feminism, as feminists are given a bad rep through the media. The issue is that we need every to be a feminist to really make a difference.
In a broader lens, we need to form a cohort of women are working with the community and who know the community best to help with funding. Allocating a lump sum to one or two main organization is not enough. We need a grassroots movement of many people to help make this a reality.
Priests will talk about "forgiveness" and often this prevents women from leaving he situations they are in.
One speaker, who was a police officer, talked about women approaching police officers or departments, and the gap between compassion and empathy. Most police officers are strangers to the women, and might be more men. Thus, it makes it that more difficult for women in bad situations to get the help they need.
Another issue, was citizens talking about the way they were raised. She asked Iqra, "how do we end the cycle of patriarchy, when women are constantly told to cook and clean?" This really stuck with me, because these women really cared. They responded with the importance of education, and helping women to get into more male dominated fields, such as engineering and sciences. Business, investing, and helping those women in poverty so they can accomplish the same.
A beautiful discussion went on about the power of women, and how in ancient times women were feared by men, because they were able to live even though they bled each month. This powerful quote speaks volumes about how fear can force people to act upon others in negative ways, and to never doubt yourself.
Many times, abuse happens out of fear, and when people are in fear, they will try to suppress other people who are in positions to help others as a result of it.
But, if we are able to work together, we can definitely help to solve these issues, and work on viable ways to help combat these issues!
