Tools to overcome imposter syndrome
At its core, imposter syndrome is not about competence. It’s about identity.
It’s the persistent internal narrative that you are not enough — a fraud who’s one slip away from being exposed. This experience is especially common among high achievers who attribute success to luck or external circumstances, while internalizing failure as personal proof of inadequacy.
- Healthy self-doubt says, “I’m still learning this skill.”
- Imposter syndrome says, “I am not enough.”
The Iceberg Beneath the Surface
One of the most eye-opening explanations came in the form of the iceberg model of the mind:
- 10% Conscious: This is the part that reads self-help books, sets goals, and says “I’ve got this.”
- 90% Subconscious: This is the part shaped by past experiences, often stored in the autonomic nervous system, that decides whether you feel safe showing up — or whether you shut down, freeze, or overcompensate.
Imposter syndrome, therefore, is not just a mindset issue — it’s a nervous system issue. This helps explain why affirmations and logic alone often don’t resolve it. You can tell yourself you belong, but if your body still feels under threat, your behavior won’t align.
Common Signs You’re Stuck in the Loop
Some of the most telling symptoms of imposter syndrome don’t show up in words — they show up in behaviors:
- Chronic perfectionism
- People-pleasing and inability to say no
- Procrastination or overcompensating
- Avoiding difficult conversations
- Feeling drained despite outward success
These behaviors are often nervous system responses: fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown, developed as coping mechanisms often rooted in early experiences.
Rewiring the System: From Awareness to Action
So how do we begin to retrain our nervous system to feel safe being seen, heard, and celebrated?
1. Start with Somatic Awareness
Notice when you’re triggered — not just the thoughts, but the sensations. Is your chest tightening? Are you holding your breath? Is your jaw clenched?
This level of awareness signals that your nervous system has detected a threat — even if your conscious mind knows you’re “safe.”
2. Regulate Before You Reframe
Before diving into cognitive fixes, regulate the body. Try:
- Grounding techniques (e.g., feeling your feet on the floor)
- Slow rhythmic breathing
- Movement, even subtle (stretching, shaking out your hands)
- Vocalization, like humming or sighing, to activate the vagus nerve
3. Take SMART Actions
Real change happens through incremental steps that your nervous system can trust. A helpful framework is SMART:
- Safe
- Modest
- Actionable
- Repeated
- Timely
For example, instead of volunteering to lead a keynote, try speaking up once in a small team meeting. When your system learns that this small act didn’t result in danger, it starts to loosen its grip.
How Long Does It Take?
Change isn’t immediate. Like physical training, nervous system regulation is about consistency over intensity. Some may feel a shift in weeks; for others, it may take months. The key is to meet your resistance with patience, not judgment.
Overcoming imposter syndrome is not about silencing self-doubt. It’s about building self-trust — creating enough internal safety to show up, speak up, and take up space.
Final Thought
You’re not broken — your nervous system is just doing its job a little too well. With awareness, regulation, and repeatable small wins, you can build a new baseline — one rooted not in fear, but in grounded confidence.
Let that be your new story.